Breakfast is my Favourite Meal of the Day

Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day
Perhaps even is it my favourite meal of everyday
In it I can eat carbs and drink milk
And intoxicate myself with coffee black like ink
For afterwards I can go out and play
Spend the energy however I like, no calorie will dare stay
How many calories will go whenever I blink!
And I blink a lot for I live with people so thick
They baffle and bemuse me all to my dismay
All this results in my breakfast's metabolic decay
And might also lead to society's moral decay
This is why I love breakfast I say
Not because of moral but because of metabolic decay
Whereas lunch and dinner are here to stay
In the tummy, hips and other tissue array
Which might also lead to moral decay
But certainly not to quick metabolic decay
Do you get what I'm say'

A Proper Poem

I thought I'd better have a go
At composing a proper poem
Just felt I should stop a mo
And produce some decent poem
However I haven't a clue how
To compose a proper poem
It is all downing on me now
I might never make a proper poem
My attitude towards poetry's just wrong
I mistake rap for a proper poem
I fire words like balls in ping-pong
Without thinking about proper poem
Proper poem is the last thing on my mind
All I care about is rhyme
I don't think it's a crime
Not to make a proper poem
As long as the poem is mine
It's alright if it's not a proper poem
And therefore I'd be damned
If that ever makes a proper poem

I Always Wear Sun Glasses

I always wear sun glasses
Because the sun never sets
On the British Empire
You must have learnt this in classes
Because History never lets
Britain's fame expire
Of course some Brits are asses
Because their stupid pets
Poo-poo all over the shire

ps: I must thank Facebook for inspiring me with this poem. There exists a group on Facebook named: "I always wear sun glasses because the sun never sets on the British empire". I was instantly enchanted by it.

Drive Me to the Moon

I love driving a car I do
Getting behind the wheel without further ado
Makes me feel very powerful
Adrenaline rush, how wonderful
Stepping on the gas gives me a buzz
The trees whizz past me in a fuzz
Then there's got to be a bloody red light
A speed limit or a police patrol in the night
I hate them all because they mean stand bail
Unless I stop or roll a' the pace of a snail
What I'd love most is a highway to the stars
Where I can drive non stop all the way to Mars

Voila

Voila
Je m'emmerde
Voila
Tout m'emmerde
Et toi, oui toi
Toi aussi tu m'emmerdes

Voila
Je m'exprime
Voila
Tant me chagrine
Et puis, ooh la!
Depuis qu' j'ai mangé j'hallucine

Voila
Je vous l'ai dit
Voila
Se payer ma tête est interdit
Chui poete, eh ben oui
Je peux voler si ca me dit

My Ideal Man

My ideal man
Does not have to have a tan
Neither does he need to own a van
But I must be able to say he can
Get me water during a hosepipe ban
He must show me he's my fan
Even if I eat garlic Nan
He should know the plan
To make of me his ideal woman
That way I won't have to do a damn
Thing and be free to enjoy me gardan
Or a lovely converted barn
But he must defo be Algerian
Hear me now you daft man!

Glorious Flip-flops

Time to wear my flip-flops

What a heavenly sensation to the feet

Air, sand, replace socks

Flip-flops are the best Summer treat

Even better than ice chocs

Equivalent to a feet's Summer retreat

Go in them around shops

Buy or not; still good to grab a seat

Rest and fan sweaty drops

Trainers, boots, no need to cheat

Flip-flops are top of the pops

They're defo impossible to beat