Ladies & Gentlemen; Berni has left the Bateman

*This poem was inspired by the ever delightful Berni, we were college- and house-mates at Cambridge. After 3 years occupation of room 157 at Bateman Street, he was kicked out and was forced to find a new flat to live..*

Like a beam of light, in the night
Berni enters like a knight
From the window site

Carrying the drinks
He makes an entrance
Which so impresses the chicks
That they and him embrace

He is a mega mate
He often leaves the women in a state
But his ego never inflates
I’d rather have him than a super estate

Whatever you want he’ll do
Whatever you wear he’ll join in too
He is always in a photo
Looking like he won the Loto

Today comes the day when he has to leave
He has been packing all eve
Grieve, Bateman will have to grieve
For a man of his calibre is hard to retrieve