Salomania

*This poem was inspired by my lovely friend Salome. We were in the same college at Cambridge and were also housemates for 3 years at Bateman Street! The occasion of this poem was her move to a new flat after 3 un-interrupted years at Bateman!.*

Today Salome has moved out
To her new flat she is happy to go
Where there will be a big lounge
To a fridge, freezer and oven who could say no?

She has always been our shining stah
Cooking away in her kitchen and feeding us all
What would have become of us without hah
We would have ceased to breathe and all

In the gym she blasts her energy
In Bateman she creates synergy
Losing her today is no doubt a tragedy
For which college owes us an apology

But she will be with Berni
Who is a cure for any agony
He is nobody’s enemy
With her cooking, she will nourish his anatomy
With his shiny helmet, he will illuminate her astronomy

Ladies & Gentlemen; Berni has left the Bateman

*This poem was inspired by the ever delightful Berni, we were college- and house-mates at Cambridge. After 3 years occupation of room 157 at Bateman Street, he was kicked out and was forced to find a new flat to live..*

Like a beam of light, in the night
Berni enters like a knight
From the window site

Carrying the drinks
He makes an entrance
Which so impresses the chicks
That they and him embrace

He is a mega mate
He often leaves the women in a state
But his ego never inflates
I’d rather have him than a super estate

Whatever you want he’ll do
Whatever you wear he’ll join in too
He is always in a photo
Looking like he won the Loto

Today comes the day when he has to leave
He has been packing all eve
Grieve, Bateman will have to grieve
For a man of his calibre is hard to retrieve

Sick Duck in Muck

*This masterpiece was inspired by my lovely friend and ex-colleague Andy, while we were having one of our 100 a day venting-off sessions about non-existent job satisfaction and career prospects.*

I am sick of my job
I want something new, exciting, full stop
Research is nothing but a big gob
And I no longer want to be part of the mob

I just feel like a sick duck
Who's stuck
In a pond of muck,
Don't say's alright chuck,
`Cause I know nobody gives a *uck!
Where's my luck?
Looks like it ran away in a truck

But Mama says it's all for the best
Everything is only just a test
So I should give it a rest
Live, laugh and build my nest
Avoid stress for it's like the pest
And then life will regain its zest